These two questions seem to be constantly swirling around me. At first I spent a lot of time perfecting my answer. It seemed like my reputation depended on my answer. I wanted to impress those who quizzed me with a thoughtful and intelligent answer.
After four years of experience, I still haven’t found the perfect answer. In fact, my answers are much more relaxed. Sometimes they are even joking. I usually say whatever pops into my head - which isn’t always a good idea.
The point is it really doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter why I home school and I don’t really have any business asking you why you home school. No two families have the same reasons and no two families teach their children in the same way. That is the point of home school – and it’s beauty.
I know home school families that are vegetarians, families that are totally organic, families that have a dozen kids and families that have an only child. There are families that use a distance learning programs, families that teach the classical method and families that unschool. However, I also know people who have been shunned because they do things differently and I’ve seen lines of communication cut over minor issues.
I am tired of trying to fit myself and my family into a home school box. That’s not who we are. So I decided to start a blog that would be a comfortable place to discuss all things home schooling– a place of encouragement and support. No fitting in required.
Excellent!!! I agree Tonya that why you homeschool and what you teach is not that important. Every mom I know who homeschools has the same agenda: the education of her children. Although, I probably get the other end. Not why I homeschool looking to fit in, but to explain myself from critics who don't like the fact that I homeschool. Talk about no right answer.
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to good discussions!
Good for you! (Rebekah forwarded me your link :-D)
ReplyDeleteTo add to what you said...no one ever thinks to ask why a child is public schooled. People just assume that a child "should be" and that the teachers are doing a "good" job. However, no one cares about your child's education as much as you do. The best education for a child is done by the parents in a way that fits the family...period.
I look forward to seeing more of your posts! :-D
I agree! It doesn't matter how you teach or what. You are the parent, that's your decision. Even though this is not my first homeschooling experience, it is my first year homeschooling my own children. For me, I want my children to be as involved as they can be, because I personally understand that homeschooling can be boring if you don't have the right support and friends. I say this in that for me, I find it frustrating when you are looking for the right support and all you can seem to find is your "typical" homeschooler who is more concerned about whether I should immunize my child or drink raw milk or whether it might be a "sin" to have awards at a science fair. Now, I know that is not all homeschoolers agenda, but I have come across more that are than aren't. I almost threw in the towel with joining any group at all, until I came across a great group that are more like-minded, and that have two reasons for the group--- support and encourage moms(moms night out once a month:) and for enhancing what you already do at home (field trips, fun family actiivities, etc.) These groups are out there, girls!) If I hadn't come across this one, I probably would have started my own, because I do think it's important for kids to "socalize". I know that's a bad word!:) But, we all need good Christian friends!
ReplyDeleteAnywho, I will quit chattering now, and open up for more discussion.:)
Well we seem to be on the same page. Honormommy, your comment about public school made me laugh. I am going to start asking people why they are using public schools!
ReplyDeleteLeAnna, my experience has been similar to yours. Only, I haven't found a group yet. That's why I needed this blog.
I think maybe the reason there is no right answers is because we are being asked the wrong questions. What do you think?
It's funny, because if you ask a lot of teachers in our area how the schools are, they say, "Terrible!" "We don't have enough teachers to teach all the children who don't speak English" They go home to families who don't speak English, so there is no communication between teacher and parent. It's extra work for the teacher trying to teach and full classroom, and other students suffer from it. Also, because of all the gangs, they have to spend all their time on catching kids wearing bits of blue, red or cartoon characters, etc. because they could be gang symbols, etc.
ReplyDeleteMany people know that the public schools aren't great, however, when you tell them that you "homeschool" they either give you that speechless look or they tell you how much they are missing in the public school. I have had a few non Christians, though, through discussion of public school, tell us we should homeschool. To that, we say, "Yes! We are!"
So, what is it, that everyone thinks we are missing from public schools? Most of the time, they are brainwashed to say, "socialization", but that can be taken care of easily. But, if you think about it, we aren't missing anything! In fact, our kids are bound to do better, because they have a parent who is working with them one on one to give them the best education that they can and teaching them to love God with all their hearts!
Great job with this blog, Tonya! However, sometimes it gets me going! LOL:)
Leanna, I agree. No one ever questions whether my kids will be educated, it doesn't take much compared to the public schools. They question about the socialization (which is actually the wrong word to use and a term I am coming to despise!) of my kid. One mom said I was preventing her kid from having christian friends at school. They aren't even in the same grades and wouldn't see each other all day. They can still be friends can't they? I guess this is another topic to discuss.
ReplyDeleteIt did take a lot of convincing for me to decide to homeschool. In all reality, while I think that I can give my child a wonderful education and I can have socialized children, I don't like much of what I see in homeschooling moms. I admit it. I can't stand (and that is really a weak word for how I truly feel) the "granola" moms. The problem is that these moms are the most vocal, so that is what everyone sees. I don't try to persuade other women in their child raising, but they seem to be on a mission to tell everyone else how to live their lives (not just child raising either). No wonder people question why I homeschool. That's the only type of mom who seems to homeschool.
I want to separate myself from those type of women. I guess I'm one of the naysayers, too, even though I do homeschool.
I can't stand Granolas who push in on me. Sorry, I love frozen food, and sometimes I even like fast food. Monte always says that God placed us in the modern age for a reason. I figure that God, in His wisdom, knew I wouldn't be a great cook.
ReplyDeleteAnd don't forget that other homeschool standard - the jean jumper. I think I was 12 the last time I wore a jumper. Now, I don't care if you wear one - remember no fitting in here - just don't expect me to get out of my blue jeans. That's my school "uniform" - jean capris and a t-shirt.
I am surprised that homeschoolers, who are constantly bucking the system, are not more tolerant of each other.
I'm laughing about the last few comments...I must say...why cook if Stouffers does a better job with much more variety! :-D I figure the granola moms would be happy...no preservatives! :-D
ReplyDeleteBut seriously, who has time to make a fantastic, gourmet meal when you are spending your entire day teaching, cleaning and preparing to teach amongst a billion other little tasks...no one expects a teacher at a school to do all that! People need to remember that a homeschooling mom (or dad) is a TEACHER...we are responsible for teaching much more than reading, writing and arithmetic to our children and our jobs are not 8-3 M-F...they are 24/7 with teaching moments around the clock.
And good for those moms who want to and can cook and be "perfect" externally...we all know everyone has some sort of problem--I'm just opposed to hiding it from everyone ;-)
I need to be careful to not be the other end and be judgmental because the mom is one of those type moms. And I do try to keep an open mind, but there comes a point when I just throw my hands up and would rather keep the relationship at acquaintance. I'll be polite and courteous, but they won't be in my circle of friends. I have it easier than most because I don't have any of those moms in our church.
ReplyDeleteChris and I were talking about homeschoolers I knew when we were growing up. All the homeschoolers I knew did homeschool to keep their kids from socializing with undesirables(aka any kid that wasn't homeschooled and/or didn't belong to our church fellowship) and I really think that is why so many people are concerned when I say I homeschool.
Leanna, is that why your parents homeschooled you? We grew up in the same area.
The philosophy behind homeschool has changed so much, but most people don't know that. I think more and more moms are like us, we just want to give our kids a great education and want more observable social situations.
I do say that there are things that I learn from those moms. Organization is one of them. Boy, if I could only be more organized!
I love to cook, but I don't have a dishwasher and I'm the type that a simple meal creates more dishes than I'm willing to wash. Needless to say, I'd be considered a terrible mom because fine china to us is Dixie.
ReplyDeleteI agree, it takes more time to cook up a fresh meal (with organic foods, of course) than to pick something out of the frozen food section. Yay! for Stouffers, Banquet, Tyson.
BTW, speaking of easy things to cook. Betty Crocker has boxed meals: Stroganoff and Chicken Alfredo. They come with everything and my kids love them. I buy disposable aluminum pans and with paper plates, I don't have hardly any dishes!
My teaching is my part time job. And so other things need cut.
I wonder, though, how many of those moms are really happy, or are they really bitter? Maybe they need someone to tell them it's okay not to be the "perfect" mom and to lighten up.
I guess being 35, I'm more willing to tell women to lighten up, than I would be 10 years ago.
I was homeschooled, I think, because, I was going to Grandview at the time and 1. it was a long day for us. I took the bus from Norwalk into Des Moines beginning just when the sun was coming up and didn't get home until late. Then, my mom worked at the school to pay for our tuition. Both got a bit old for them, so they decided to teach us at home.
ReplyDeleteBack then, there weren't any or little resources and being in jr/high school, I didn't like being homeschooled at all! I begged my parents to send me back to private school, but they said that they couldn't afford it.
That being said, I am constantly thinking about the activities and friends that I can let my children participate in. I want them to have some good Chrisian friends and have fun. The same fun things that they would have if they were in public school- minus the druken parties.:)
As far as highschool goes, we haven't decided what we are going to do for the kids' education. But, that's very far off yet.:)
I love to cook too, but it all sometimes gets to be too much. That's when you break out the cold cereal! The kids' favorite! Plus, I use my crockpot a lot... does that count???:)
I love a clean house, and it's not always clean... it gets cleaned thoroughly when someone's coming over.:) But, for me, I can't function without a realatively clean house. It's how I grew up, I guess. I am trying to make a cleaning schedule, because I think that would help me, personally, not to feel so overwhelmed with housework, and along with school, it might help.
I don't know if this is even related to Michelle's last post. I am tired this morning and have been interupted several times.:)
Leanna - I would love to find and/or make a group like the one to which you belong. I don't want a co-op because I love to have the flexibility on curriculum I have "doing it on my own". But, I would love to "hang out" with other homeschool moms and get and give encouragement, maybe talk about something besides "why I homeschool", etc. Nearly 85% of my family members are public educators (elementary teachers, secondary teachers and administrators) - so, believe me, I run the question gauntlet on a daily basis. :) I would also like a group like yours where the kids could do field trips together fairly regularly and (gasp) socialize. :) How do I do this?
ReplyDeleteTonya, great blog! Cheers to your conclusion - I believe we ARE being asked the wrong questions. And cheers to Honormommy for the question we should all ask others. For all the points brought up by Leanna, and many more, "why on earth is anyone public schooling?"
I'm not sure, Jeralynne, how you would go about it. But, my guess is if you could find at least one family with similar interests, you could start there. You could start some of your own field trips to the zoo, farm, etc. and then I would just plan those types of things with that one family.... mom's night out, v-day party, park days, etc. Then, when you find another family invite them to your events. If you want to make it more of a membership thing, which would be nice, that way you get people who believe your statement of faith or rules and guidelines, etc., but you would probably need to get a waiver to have them sign that they believe and understand that they are responsible for their own children. All that jazz.
ReplyDeleteBut, I think if you just find one family that you can find that you really have a good connection with, then you can go from there.If I get a chance to ask our group president how she started hers, I will.:)
Jeralynne, I know of one family that would be interested - us. I was thinking at least a play day and/or a mom's night. Email me if you want and we can discuss it further.
ReplyDelete