Growing Pains

There have been many nights where I sat up with my little boy.  I've watched over him through colic, teething, whooping cough, and all the childhood colds and flus.  Over the years, those nights have become rare.  This night was different. I had thought those nights were hard. This night was worse.

On this night  I sat and held my twelve year old son while his heart broke. There was no medicine I could offer to ease his pain.  His friend and teammate had committed suicide. I had never thought to prepare him for this kind of grief - not at twelve. A child should never grieve another child's suicide.

Long after I thought he had fallen asleep, I lay awake with my own questions and grief. Then in the darkest hour of the night he materialized at my bedside. He wanted to be held, to be comforted. I felt so inadequate. I couldn't pick him up and hold him as I had when he was a baby; he is nearly as tall as I am now.  With a breaking mother heart, I bowed my head and sought my Heavenly Father.  He alone could comfort my son's heart. His arms were big enough to hold this tall gangly youth.

We knew the weekend would hold challenges for all the boys on my son's team.  They had a soccer tournament to play in.  They were already emotionally exhausted and three games would physically exhaust them. I prepared myself for the tears that normally followed a tournament loss. But what actually happened surprised me.  Instead of  disappointment and tears at loosing the tournament, I saw them laughing and joking with each other. They were enjoying each other. That's when I first noticed it.  My son was standing a little taller.

In the days that followed I noticed more changes.  He tenderly roughhoused with his little sister. His voice was gentler, more thoughtful.  When he hugged me, his arms slipped over my shoulders. Then, at the candle-light vigil, I knew for sure. As he slipped his arms around his teammate's mother and comforted her, I realized my son had become a man.

While I was praying that God would comfort my little boy, God was shaping him into a man. Again my mother heart broke. Again I sought my Heavenly Father. His response?
Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you...
Never will I leave your son; never will I forsake him.